


lattes for gays

by bvssbot



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Misunderstandings, jaehyun's got beef but mark's a vegetarian and he ain't fuckin scared of him, jk there's no vegetarianism, very original
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 09:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17138897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bvssbot/pseuds/bvssbot
Summary: misjudgement jaehyun was familiar with. being a pacifist got back to him at times, and more than once he’s been labelled boring, uncaring, a pushover, by an upset ex or jokingly by a friend. jungwoo’s case had him swearing he’s learned not to speculate about people.or, jaehyun doesn't do any stretching before jumping to conclusions and it comes back to bite him in the ass. sort of?





	lattes for gays

**Author's Note:**

> um, hi. didn't know i'd be posting this on christmas eve uh. merry christmas and happy holidays folks! here's my shitty present to all you... three and a half markjae shippers out there  
> gonna keep true to my weird tradition of saying how i didn't plan for a fic to be as long as it turned out to be — i was planning max 3k words for this one. somehow it's 8k. what have i done  
> also i think the beginning is really weak but i promise it gets b-better....  
> hope you enjoy reading! lol  
>  
> 
> for the first time, the title isn't a song lyric. what a shocker

jaehyun doesn’t get into arguments often, and even rarer does he judge people. he allows himself to believe he’s a pretty easy-going, level-headed guy. maybe he’s not as much of a pacifist as johnny, but yuta — drunk out of his mind — once came up with a solid theory about johnny being a saint, and it explained the infinite amount of patience he has so perfectly, jaehyun still chooses to believe it to this day.

see, it’s relatively easy to avoid arguments — you don’t have to dedicate your whole life to it. jaehyun does have an upper hand over people like doyoung, for example, for being chill enough not to get all bothered over small things like doyoung often tends to (and jaehyun’s pretty sure he has bigger emotional capacity than doyoung, yet). of course, everyone has their own collection of pet peeves, and jaehyun doesn’t see any point in pretending to be an exception of that rule, _but._ what jaehyun is effortlessly good at is keeping his cool, raised by parents who continuously preached about forgiveness and acceptance all of his childhood and actually managed to get it to stick, despite everything.

arguments are a rare occurrence in jaehyun’s life, but it doesn’t mean he always gets to stay away from them. sometimes they find him — take for example that one time back in summer, when jungwoo kept putting off paying his part of the lease and got jaehyun in trouble with the landlord. it wasn’t the first time, but that first time jaehyun was hastily promised it wouldn't repeat. it did cross his mind then that jungwoo was struggling with money, but jaehyun never got around to asking him about it, choosing the easy route of assuming that things were fine.

when jaehyun had to grow up fast after his parents found his preferences too out of the box for their simple christian life, jungwoo never had a similar experience. he wasn’t all that childish, but his impish nature and metaphorical blond-headedness sometimes got the better of him. as time went on and they turned from two awkward strangers avoiding the living room not to socialize with the other to something akin to friends, jaehyun did realize that without a watchful eye over him, jungwoo might end up in trouble. doubtful he was capable of that, jaehyun never really bothered to try.

frankly, jaehyun had no idea about jungwoo’s income and expenses — it’s not exactly polite to ask somebody about their earnings, even if your names are written on the same lease papers. all that concerned jaehyun was jungwoo paying the rent on time, and no amount of clothes and expensive gadgets jungwoo owned was jaehyun’s business. however, things changed if jungwoo didn’t fulfil his part of the contract. all it took was an uncomfortable talk with the landlord for jaehyun to assume jungwoo has been carelessly blowing money on useless things instead of saving up for stuff that really mattered — like, not getting in a serious debt.

it lead him to giving jungwoo a lecture, and the more excuses jungwoo came up with, the larger jaehyun’s anger grew in size and out of control. it was only after a few minutes of yelling at each other that jungwoo confessed he simply wasn’t earning as much as he was spending, and all that he owned was bought with his parents’ money months before jaehyun even came into his life. the fuse in jaehyun got extinguished as fast as it was lit, leaving him feeling guilty for jumping to conclusions and ashamed for resorting to anger.

misjudgement jaehyun was familiar with. being a pacifist got back to him at times, and more than once he’s been labelled boring, uncaring, a pushover, by an upset ex or jokingly by a friend. jungwoo’s case had him swearing he’s learned not to speculate about people.

 

 

when mark lee appears in jaehyun’s life, the last thing jaehyun expects is for them to get off on the wrong foot.

it’s a rainy saturday and jaehyun is hiding under his umbrella as he hurries to the cafe between his and johnny’s places where they usually meet at out of convenience. the front door opens with a ring bell as soon as he gets closer, and jaehyun politely steps out of the way for a girl to walk out into the street before he can dive inside. folding his umbrella and shaking his bangs so they’re not in his eyes, he spots johnny a bit further inside, already settled down. it’s a rather familiar sight — for as long as jaehyun’s known johnny he has always been a little too early — and jaehyun almost stops in his tracks when he belatedly notices that johnny’s not alone. opposite of him is sitting a guy jaehyun has never seen previously, and before he can swallow it down, apprehension puts a small frown on jaehyun’s face. johnny never mentioned there being company.

“hey, dude,” jaehyun greets as he gets into johnny and stranger’s hearing proximity.

johnny’s eyes land on him and he springs up, a smile so big on his face you’d think something good happened to him. “jaehyun! hi! great seeing you,” he says as he tugs jaehyun into a bro hug, as if they don’t see each other every odd day.

jaehyun laughs shortly at his enthusiasm, “you too.”

“it’s raining so bad today! thought you got washed away or something,” johnny jokes, putting some distance between them and eventually letting go.

jaehyun decides not to point out he’s perfectly on time, and instead meets eyes with johnny’s stranger who snickers at his words. he’s got up as well out of politeness, and jaehyun doesn’t see a reason not to give him a friendly smile in return.

“jaehyun, meet mark lee, lee mark, markie, my old friend from the states,” johnny introduces them at last, stepping hurriedly in-between to put a hand on mark’s shoulder and push him closer to jaehyun. he kind of looks like mark’s embarrassing dad like that. “very good kid. mark, it is my greatest pleasure to introduce to you jung jaehyun, poetry and all things romance extraordinaire. we share our major. he writes my essays for me.”

“hi,” mark giggles and rolls his eyes at johnny, bowing awkwardly at jaehyun before he gets to be offered a handshake. he bows again as he takes a hold of jaehyun’s hand, unintentionally tugging on it as he does.

“nice to meet you,” jaehyun says, drawing his hand back and out of mark’s sweaty palms. johnny is the first to sit down, with mark waiting for jaehyun to pull the only other vacant chair for himself. jaehyun has to bite down a joke about mark being way too polite.

“sorry for no heads up,” johnny apologizes. “thought i’d invite mark to hang out with us for his first free day after moving here.”

jaehyun shakes his head. “no big deal. did you go to the same school in america?” he turns to mark and asks, placing his dripping wet umbrella against the table leg.

“uh, no, not really,” mark replies, drowned by johnny’s sudden laughter.

“no, mark is actually from canada,” he says, a rather nostalgic smile on his face. “we met when he was on a school trip in chicago — i was working part-time in a museum his class went to.”

jaehyun nods, sniffing with his runny nose as he unbuttons his coat a bit. “that’s cool. must’ve been hard to keep in touch.”

“hyung is the reason i got facebook,” mark giggles and shares a weird look with johnny. when they both laugh at the same time jaehyun just smiles politely as he sets down his bag, lost on their inside joke.

“yeah, anyway,” johnny says once he stops laughing. “mark is transferring to us! uncomfortably late into the semester. you’re probably going to see a lot of each other now — he minors in lit, so. same hallways.”

“neat.”

johnny continues, “it’s actually pretty funny. we’re all different ages but study the same thing, kinda.”

mark giggles as jaehyun reaches to lightly punch johnny on the shoulder.

“your own fault,” jaehyun chides him, “could’ve actually went to bio. you'd be our cool senior right now if you didn’t fuck around so much after school.”

johnny does what he does best — makes a dumb face of faux offence, eyes bulging. “yah!” he points at jaehyun, successfully sending mark into a laughing fit. “is that a way to talk to your hyung!”

jaehyun grins at him sweetly, aware that johnny couldn’t care less about such things.

“no way though, you were gonna study bio?” mark inquires suddenly, eyebrows high on his forehead out of surprise.

johnny fakes a shudder, no doubt recalling how he found out bio wasn’t for him. “we don't talk about that.”

“right. anyway. looking forward to seeing more of you, mark,” jaehyun flirts just for the hell of it, ignoring johnny’s gaze on him. they’ll just let it slide if mark fails to read into it.

however, mark catches on and blushes. “thanks? umm,” he pauses, adjusting his seat. jaehyun props his chin on his palm, amused. mark’s a squirmy one. “i’m so excited, actually. i’ve never been to a college in korea, i wonder how different they are.”

“eh, i don’t think they’re that different. but, hey,” johnny throws his hands up. “welcome!”

“yeah, welcome,” jaehyun says, glancing away from johnny in time to catch mark already looking. expression sheepish, he breaks eye contact and busies himself playing with the drinks menu in front of him. jaehyun bites down on his lip to mask a smirk, sitting back. “you didn’t order yet?”

it’s then when a waiter comes up to their table, wiping amusement off jaehyun’s face faster than a text from his mother does.

when you go to the same place a lot, you’re bound to get to know people who work there. jaehyun and johnny would insist it’s not always a good thing.

“what can i get you guys?” the waiter smiles, just a tad spitefully when jaehyun meets his eyes. jaehyun almost scowls.

johnny is arguably better at keeping up a friendly expression, leaning back in his chair comfortably. “two standard americanos and a – what did you want again, mark?”

“a big caramel latte, please.”

“got it,” the waiter nods, flatteting the front of his apron. jaehyun grows antsier the longer he stands there. “you sure you guys don’t want the same, though? last i heard latte was the gay drink.”

johnny’s smile turns flat but mark lets out a laugh.

“no, thank you,” johnny says, paying him no mind.

jaehyun is, though, suddenly feeling gross all over for even daring to look at mark in the way he did mere seconds ago. always clueless how to deal with homophobia, he balls his hands up into angry fists in his lap. it’s not the usual comment what sets him off — after all, the guy has been shitty and unprofessional to them before, despite johnny having complained to the manager. it’s mark’s reaction that is new and unwelcomed, and jaehyun, lulled into comfort by the friendliness, stares at him unblinkingly, hoping for an explanation. instead mark shoots him a questionable gaze and glances away under the false pretense of looking around the cafe, eyebrows twisting in discomfort the longer jaehyun keeps his eyes on him.

thing is, johnny is probably the last person jaehyun expected such betrayal from. it’s what jaehyun wants to be angry at, and then when he looks over to johnny tapping away at his phone on the side, he wants to be angry at him for not saying anything.

it’s _your friend,_ jaehyun almost tells him, struggling to swallow the bile at the back of his throat, but keeps silent. he doesn’t like confrontation, and he likes it even less when it comes down to his sexuality. there’s nothing he can lose with mark, nothing to risk now that he’s been outed, but the force jaehyun’s lips are sealed with cannot be overpowered by the faint urge to fight for justice.

jaehyun doesn’t look up from where he’s glaring at the small paper pumpkin decoration atop their table, stewing in his anger until johnny breaks the silence by faking a cough. when jaehyun looks over, he seems to be as uncomfortable as jaehyun feels, and all anger at him jaehyun dared to have evaporates on spot. “uh, yeah. before you came, me and mark were talking about going to ikea next weekend.”

jaehyun nods silently, not keen on participating in the conversation anymore. he’s better off going home at this point — he’s not going to enjoy himself like that.

“yeah! i needed to buy some stuff for my dorm,” mark perks up. it’s funny how jaehyun immediately starts to dislike the sound of his voice, as if a switch has been flipped inside of him.

“a- _aand_ i need some shelves. you should go with us,” johnny continues, poking jaehyun’s arm with a finger. jaehyun’s heartbeat speeds up in fear.

_don’t –_

“you said you needed to buy a lamp and pillows, or something?” johnny reminds him. jaehyun feels mark’s expectant gaze on him.

“i don’t think – ”

johnny interrupts him, pouting and clueless to the change in jaehyun’s mood. “c’mon, it’s gonna be fun! you and mark will get to know each other. we can get more overpriced coffee, too,” he and mark laugh, “i know you wanted to go there for some time.”

when the need to come up with an excuse to bail out is the most pressing, jaehyun struggles to come up with a solid reason. he swears he’s about to say no anyway, but when he looks up and sees a familiar dumb expression on johnny’s face that he wears when he wants something from jaehyun, he hears himself agreeing.

the grin on mark’s face makes him uncomfortable. jaehyun emits a weird noise at the back of his throat, quickly pulling his phone out of his pocket and pretending he’s got a text. neither mark nor johnny can see his screen from their seats, and it doesn’t take much for jaehyun to muster a believable expression.

“damn… i think i have to go,” he says, careful not to get up from the table too fast.

johnny’s expression turns concerned. “oh, no? something bad?”

jaehyun shakes his head, making a quick job of putting his bag back around his shoulder. “jungwoo needs something. i’ll pay you back for the coffee later, okay?”

“okay. i guess…”

he throws a smile at johnny not to worry him, taking first steps in the direction of the exit. it’s mark who stops him, jumping to his feet and grabbing the umbrella from under the table.

“jaehyun-sshi! you forgot,” he calls, free hand wrapping around jaehyun’s forearm. he lets go when jaehyun stares at it.

“thanks.”

jaehyun grabs his umbrella without looking at mark’s face and makes a run for it.

 

 

jaehyun’s mind helpfully assists him in forgetting all about mark, until johnny reminds him.

“you sure you don’t wanna go?” johnny asks him, catching a stray paper falling out of his enormous notebook as he puts it inside his bag.

jaehyun hoists his backpack over his shoulder, standing closer to the wall to let people walk past as he waits, used to johnny’s favorite pastime of taking ages to pack his shit after class. “no, not really. i have some stuff to do at home.”

johnny gives him a doubtful look, shoving his collection of pens into the penholder ten got him for christmas four years ago. it looks like it’s going to fall apart any second. “stuff.”

“yeah. with jungwoo.”

“jungwoo again,” johnny sighs dramatically and they finally start making their way out of the lecture hall. ”are you guys dating or something? why are you being so secretive?”

jaehyun almost gives himself whiplash from how fast he turns to johnny. offended, he shoves at johnny’s shoulder. “no way, dude! i don’t like him like that.”

johnny bends to the side to avoid the attack and purses his lips. “you sound like you do.”

“the hell i don’t – ”

“hey,” mark says.

after stopping in his tracks so he doesn’t walk into mark who materialized literally out of nowhere in front of them, jaehyun’s first immediate reaction is to frown. second, is to sip some angry juice.

“mark lee!” johnny yells in his outside voice like a fool, making a weird gesture between pumping his fists into the air and playing an imaginary guitar. jaehyun takes a step to the side not to get hit across his face accidentally.

mark laughs, clapping as if johnny is the funniest person he’s ever met. jaehyun is seconds away from hissing at him like a horse girl for that, which in return makes him hyper aware of every muscle in his body.

“hi, hyung,” mark greets with a grin and looks at jaehyun. his expression turns unreadable, only adding to jaehyun’s discomfort. “hi, jaehyun-sshi.”

johnny clicks his tongue, putting a comfortable hand around mark’s shoulder. “just call him hyung, mark. i bet he doesn’t mind – ”

“i do,” jaehyun hurries to say before he can think against it, and bites on his tongue as mark and johnny stare at him, one surprised and the other scandalized.

“oh,” johnny says, dumbfounded, “well, then…”

“it’s fine,” mark reassures, shrugging it off. somehow, even his easy cooperation grinds jaehyun’s gears. why isn’t he fazed by jaehyun’s reaction? “ready to go?”

johnny stops him, “about that. jaehyun’s gotta go home,” he gives jaehyun another look, spelling _i don’t trust you_ perfectly clear with his eyes, no doubt a supernatural ability he’s acquired somewhere along the way when jaehyun wasn’t looking.

“really? aw, man,” mark’s imaginary puppy ears droop the second johnny delivers the news, unsurprisingly furthering jaehyun’s agitation, both at himself for not being able to decide whether he wants mark not to care or to care more, and at mark, naturally.

in the end jaehyun decides mark has no right to be upset over such things. jaehyun doesn’t think about it too long, however, — takes his leave while he can.

“sorry about that,” he says tonelessly, not sorry at all, and turns to address johnny directly. “i’ll text you later?”

johnny shrugs. “sure.”

“cool. see you.”

jaehyun leaves, careful to avoid mark’s eyes and feeling a faint sense of deja vu.

 

 

it only takes a few more encounters with mark for johnny to finally get fed up with jaehyun’s questionable passive-aggressiveness. jaehyun could tell he caught onto it a long time ago — johnny, after all, knows him pretty well, but not being confronted right away had jaehyun feeling like johnny would just let it slide.

he’s wrong.

“why don’t you like mark?” johnny asks after jaehyun makes up plans to avoid hanging out with him and mark again, not the first time and not the last. it’s more suspicious this once, however, because even sicheng is going to the bowling alley with them.

johnny looks downright annoyed at him, and it reverberates as a pang of guilt inside jaehyun.

“i like him,” he lies, picking at his sad sandwich. he’s packed it eight hours ago in the morning, so it’s all droopy after being ignored for so long in favor of a seminar and catching up with homework between classes; jaehyun interentally apologizes to it for being so busy.

frankly, jaehyun doesn’t know why he even attempts to lie — johnny doesn’t believe him for a second.

“right,” johnny stares, poking the plastic fork into his own store-bought lunch. “did he do something i don’t know about?”

jaehyun ponders whether to tell or not. the side of him that wants to just get this conversation over with wins triumphantly, and jaehyun doesn’t dare to take back its gold medal.

he sighs. “he laughed at that dickhole’s joke,” he swallows the accusation he has against johnny for staying silent, recalling the discomfort on his face then, and takes another bite of his sandwich.

johnny looks caught off guard. “oh,” he pauses. “wait, what joke?”

“about fucking coffee.”

recognition flashes across johnny’s face. he frowns. “well, mark laughs at a lot of things…”

jaehyun seizes him up with a look, moderately agitated. johnny’s an understanding person, but jaehyun doesn’t expect for a straight dude, even if it’s someone like johnny, to really _get_ it. “are you seriously saying you’re cool with him laughing at such jokes?”

“um, wait a second. no,” johnny frowns, throwing around the salad leaves inside his bowl, “i’m just saying he probably laughed out of nervousness.”

jaehyun’s eyebrows twitch in poorly conceited exasperation. “whatever, dude. just don’t expect me to like him.”

johnny chews on his lips instead of replying, and it’s the end of that conversation.

 

 

jaehyun is staring at his phone as he walks down the hallway, fixing a typo in his text to sicheng about weekend plans and carelessly not paying attention to what’s in front of him. by the laws of the universe, mark is the person who stops him from walking into a suspicious pile of cardboard boxes full of boxes someone has strategically forgotten too far away from the wall, just to get mark lee to grab jaehyun by his arm.

“look out!” mark tells him, tugging jaehyun to himself and successfully saving him the pleasure of picking shit off the floor.

jaehyun doesn’t even pretend not to spring back and away from mark’s touch, startled and confused for the whole of a second before he assesses the situation.

“oh,” he says and scowls at mark.

mark puts his hands up in the air. “sorry? you were gonna walk into that,” he nods at the boxes.

“i can see, thanks,” jaehyun bites back, meaner than intended.

mark huffs, putting on a confused frown as if he was supposed to be forgiven a long time ago. “geez, dude. my bad for touching you, i guess.”

jaehyun has a hard time controlling the expression on his face, or the influx of indignation, or what his mouth says. “bet you are,” he fakes a laugh, “wouldn’t want to catch the virus, right? what if you turn gay too?”

making a good job not only at pretending he doesn’t know what he’s done but at pissing jaehyun off further as well, mark stares at him with his eyes wide. “what?”

jaehyun decides against replying and purses his lip, rounding mark instead. he scowls when mark throws a quiet _asshole_ at his retreating back.

 

 

pointless to say it’s not the last of mark that jaehyun has pleasure to see. it feels almost like the opposite, with them coming across each other in the hallways more and more often as october days fly past, not to mention mark, him and johnny actually end up sharing a class despite mark being a sophomore. jaehyun’s eyes are drawn to the crown of mark’s head sitting a few rows closer to the front way too much for someone who actively dislikes him, but jaehyun writes it off on being cautious about the guy. it’s during one of their shared lectures when it strikes him how much of a risk he’s taking by not getting along with somebody who knows he’s gay — jaehyun has no idea what kind of person mark is, but asking johnny if he would out jaehyun to the whole class one day gives him anxiety.

the only consolation is johnny being a good champ about the whole thing. he can’t help but carelessly mention mark sometimes, especially when they hang out with taeyong, who, as it turns out, also knows about mark and is fine with him, but jaehyun’s dislike is never brought up.

so, of course, it’s him who has to bring it up, unable to stand any second longer not talking about it.

 

“hyung,” he calls, accepting another clean plate from taeyong and slowly drying it off with the half-wet towel. he’s mostly smearing the water around rather than wiping it away at this point, but taeyong isn’t looking and jaehyun has better things to worry about.

it’s the perfect time to ask, taeyong and johnny both staying over at his place for the evening to binge some movies until midnight and empty out jaehyun’s snack stash. the opportunity to talk about it is golden, especially with jungwoo voluntary locked up in his mancave and johnny setting everything up in the living room… which is, really, just him plugging the hdmi cable into his laptop and connecting it to the tv, so jaehyun has to act fast.

“yeah?” taeyong hums, distracted with trying to scrub off a gross-looking piece of food off a bowl. jaehyun looks at it with disgust.

“um, it’s about mark…”

taeyong makes a noise and hands him the clean bowl. “oh? mark lee?”

“yeah – ”

“what about him?”

“he’s…” jaehyun tries, pauses to wet his lips and think his words over again. he tries, “you’re fine with him, right?”

taeyong side-eyes him with a confused look. “yeah? he’s a good kid.”

“can you and johnny stop sounding like his parents,” jaehyun whines, ignoring how taeyong blushes (call him a coward, but he’s not getting into _that)._

“we don’t,” taeyong insists, almost dropping the sponge into the sink. he pours more soap onto it out of stress. “what did you want to ask? if he’s single? i think he is. i can set you up if – ”

a disgusted sound escapes jaehyun’s mouth and taeyong looks over at him with the same confused expression.

“what – ”

“i don’t care if he’s single. why would he date me anyway?” jaehyun scowls, spine chilling at the very thought of being romantically involved with someone like mark. “last i heard homophobes hated us.”

taeyong laughs, eyebrows drawn together funnily. “what? he’s not a homophobe.”

it’s the first time in his whole life that jaehyun doubts taeyong’s observations skills. it’s uncomfortable, to say the least.

“yeah,” jaehyun scoffs, grabbing the glass taeyong hands him with a bit too much force, ”cause homophobes don’t laugh at homophobic jokes.”

that wipes the amused expression off taeyong’s face.

“what? what did he laugh at?”

the smile on jaehyun’s face is only a little bit smug, but he doesn’t question his reaction like he usually would. take _that,_ know-it-all hyung.

“remember the waiter?” it’s common courtesy not to say his name, but thankfully there’s recognition in taeyong’s eyes.

“um, yeah. at your cafe?”

“right. he made another one of his super funny comments a couple weeks ago, and apparently your,” jaehyun makes air quotes with his fingers, almost dropping the wet towel, _“good kid_ found it real funny.”

“no way,” taeyong huffs, turning off the tap and propping his hip against the counter. jaehyun stretches his arm in front of taeyong to turn it on again, ignoring yet another look of bewilderment. jaehyun’s not about to explain he doesn’t want johnny to hear them, with no water to make their conversation unintelligible. “what was it?”

“uh,” jaehyun rakes his memory for a second.

it’s funny how it takes him some time to actually remember what happened — maybe his brain is protecting him by erasing memories like that?

“oh!” he clicks his fingers. “he said something about latte being a gay drink, and mark laughed at it like he actually found it funny.”

jaehyun admits to himself, that last part, he isn’t so sure of, but it shouldn’t matter.

“um. right. that’s – ” taeyong snorts and pauses, scratching the back of his head. “you sure?”

jaehyun reels back. “duh? what do you mean, you sure?”

taeyong doesn’t respond right away, processing the information with a rather contempt look on his face.

“i thought mark was gay, though?” is what he ends up saying, rendering jaehyun speechless.

“huh?”

“i thought he was gay,” taeyong repeats, as if it makes more sense now. “i mean, i don’t know for sure, but the way he acts and my gaydar – ”

“your gaydar.”

“ – told me he’s playing for our team,” taeyong continues unaffected and clicks his tongue. “that’s weird, though?”

jaehyun opens his mouth to call taeyong a weirdo.

“guys!” johnny hollers from the living room, and then steps are heard. he sticks his big head around the corner and frowns at them. “what are you doing? everything’s ready.”

“hold – ”

“coming,” taeyong interrupts him, closing the tap again and successfully making johnny retreat back to the couch. only then he turns back to jaehyun, and by the look on his face jaehyun already knows he’s going to use his careful teacher voice. “jaehyunnie, i’m sure it’s a misunderstanding. ask him about it, maybe?”

jaehyun huffs sardonically, “right,” but taeyong is already leaving the kitchen.

 

 

jaehyun isn’t tormented by evasive thoughts often. he also doesn’t hold grudges, but the appearance of mark lee in his life and circle of friends does seem to have turned jaehyun into a little bit of a stuck-up. thing is, though, jaehyun believes he has every right to be angry at him. he still feels the same rage at his parents when he thinks about them, so how is mark any different?

it’s jaehyun’s luck anyone who isn’t his closest friend or family knowing he’s gay is an odd, rare exception. it’s his luck he’s only ever been called a faggot once by his mother, and maybe it’s his luck he didn’t get to hear that from mark, that he hasn’t been outed out of spite or simply because mark found such idea funny. it doesn’t change a thing in jaehyun’s book — mark’s done what he’s done.

it’s only after his conversation with taeyong, however, that jaehyun starts to really question his judgement. recalling the memory of that day is a hard task, and jaehyun keeps childishly frowning when his thoughts turn to mark lee, let alone having to remember something about him.

the more he thinks about it, the more things and feelings mix up in his head. two weeks later since their first meeting, jaehyun is at loss of what to think about it, but with no one to consult about his confusion, the only real option is to keep his act of hating mark up. and he tries, feeling less and less authentic with each time.

 

taeyong and jaehyun have been friends for a long while. they met years before johnny came into the equation, and when jaehyun writes his will, taeyong is going to be the first person on the list to inherit all of jaehyun’s riches — especially his library that takes up a whole wall in the living room. jaehyun knows there’s a few worthy books there, among all the garbage literature he collects like crazy.

by default, taeyong is someone whose judgement jaehyun trusts. maybe not always, because taeyong has made his own share of mistakes as all people do, but generally jaehyun tends to listen to his opinions on things and persons. taeyong is observant and smart, never one to jump to conclusions before he assesses the situation fully, and that’s what bothers jaehyun the most. could it be possible for taeyong to have completely misjudged mark, just because he hasn’t seen something jaehyun got to witness?

there’s no one jaehyun has to ask that question. he’s already wasted his only chance to talk to taeyong about mark without being weird, and the only other person jaehyun can turn to is sicheng, but since jaehyun doesn’t want to be laughed at, it’s the absolute last possible option.

 

it comes to jaehyun lounging in the living room one night, a book by lee byungryul lying open on his lap, ignored in favor of playing a game of solitaire on his phone, fourth in the row. jungwoo is rustling in the kitchen like a rat, searching for a pack of chips he’s lost earlier this week.

it’s apparent he’s been successful in his search by how he comes out of the kitchen already making obnoxious crunching sounds, so absorbed in stuffing his mouth he forgets to walk and sort of lingers there in the doorframe.

jaehyun stares at him for a second, a bit out of it from mechanically sorting cards for ten minutes straight. “zeus,” he calls, throwing his head against the back of the couch and melting against it, bones tired after a long day. before he can reason against it, he asks, “what do you do when you get off on the wrong foot with somebody because they pissed you off, but a few weeks later you’re not even sure if they did what you think they did?”

jungwoo looks at him, carefully covers his mouth not to spit anything out and deadpans, “what.”

jaehyun closes his eyes. god, he’s exhausted. late november never fails to drain him of his energy faster than any other time of the year.

“i said – ”

jungwoo gets a _look_ on his face, making a short sprint to the couch to flop next to jaehyun and make him regret every single decision that’s led him to this point in life.

“who are you talking about?” jungwoo interrupts, the fiend, and leans into jaehyun’s personal space. “i can’t believe you got angry at somebody. what did they do?”

exasperated, jaehyun places a palm flat against jungwoo’s forehead and pushes his back.

“no one, just some guy who laughed at a – um, an offensive joke,” he says lamely. “but i can’t remember if he laughed genuinely or not.”

his own words create even more commotion inside his brain. _oh, god,_ jaehyun thinks, _was it a genuine laugh?_ and comes to an uncomfortable conclusion that he doesn’t remember.

at that, jungwoo looks a little less interested, yet the glint in his eyes prevails. jaehyun has never meet anyone this hungry for drama. sicheng is probably the only other nosy person in his friend circle, but his ability to at the same time not give a shit about anything ever cancels such curiosity in jaehyun’s eyes. “that’s it? just ask him.”

jaehyun scorns, “ask what?”

jungwoo dares to roll his eyes at him. what a brat. “if he found it funny.”

“jungwoo, it’s been weeks.”

“huh?” he tilts head like a puppy. “then why are you still thinking about it?”

jaehyun opens his mouth and pauses, at loss of words. really, why is he?

“uh,” he looks over at jungwoo, who shoves another portion of chips inside his mouth as he stares jaehyun straight in the eye. for a clean freak like himself, he sure eats like a pig when hungry. jaehyun leans back a bit, thinking about how he should probably cook something for him.

“is it yukhei?” jungwoo asks, eyes widening comically. jaehyun gives himself a second to recall the name, but comes up blank.

“who?”

“wong yukhei? xuxi? lucas?”

“am i supposed to know who that is?”

jungwoo rustles his bag, looking down at it with more interest than he seemingly has for the conversation. “who, then?”

“mark lee?” jaehyun half-says half-asks, unsure that jungwoo knows him. they do go to the same university, but liberal arts and politics students hang out in opposite corners of the campus.

it’s a surprise when all of a sudden jungwoo laughs out loudly. he covers his mouth not to spit the chips, cackling so hard his shoulders shake with the effort.

“mark lee?!” he asks and starts laughing again before jaehyun can reply.

it puts a frown on jaehyun’s face. he pushes jaehyun’s shoulder lightly. “am i missing something?”

jungwoo shakes his head violently, still laughing, and looks at jaehyun with the most entertained expression he could ever possibly muster, as if jaehyun is a child asking him why the spiders run away when he farts. jaehyun can’t say he appreciates that. that’s not even a funny question, people on the internet are liars.

“hyung, you’re mad at mark lee? for laughing at something?” jungwoo inquiers, wiping the wetness at the corner of his eye.

“yes? it was a shitty joke, dude,” jaehyun tries to defend himself and finally puts away the book from his lap. he reaches for the bag in jungwoo’s hand only for jungwoo to move it away from at the last second, and jaehyun stares at him under the brows, helpless at the smile appearing on his own lips.

“yeah,” jungwoo says, grinning and moving his hand back, generous enough to let jaehyun grab some chips. “he laughs at practically everything. you should see him when he’s with yukhei — he’s seriously like on drugs, can’t stop giggling. it’s annoying.”

jaehyun processes the information as he chews. johnny did tell him mark laughed at everything, so this isn’t really news, except jaehyun has never actually paid johnny’s words any mind. apprehensive, he reaches for more chips.

jungwoo pats his thigh with the hand that’s not covered in cheese dust, a gentle smile on his face. jaehyun’s known him long enough to tell he’s laughing at him. “chance is, my dear hyung, that he laughed as a defense mechanism. i don’t know mark that well, but i’ve seen him do that.”

jaehyun clears his throat. “could that be the case?”

jungwoo hums, pulling back to straighten the bag in his hand. jaehyun watches him throw his head back and vacuum up the crumbs at the bottom, but his thoughts are far away, trying to dissect the memories he has of mark.

did he look uncomfortable when he laughed? jaehyun doesn’t remember, but the more he considers it, the most likely it seems. that’s when faint dread of being wrong settles in, and jaehyun suddenly feels like a big, dumb fool.

“hyung?” jungwoo calls, voice concerned, but jaehyun just shakes his head and gets up to his feet.

“it’s nothing. think i’m gonna sleep early tonight,” he says and makes a beeline for the bathroom to brush the artificial cheese flavor off his tongue.

 

 

after that, jaehyun for the first time allows himself to accept that he might have completely misread mark’s reaction. it doesn’t mean, however, that he’s no longer uncertain whether mark is guilty or not — jaehyun spent weeks thinking of mark as a dumb homophobe who somehow managed to convince three of his friends to hang out with him, one of which doesn’t take shit from anyone. it’s relatively hard to stay from that narrative.

the biggest change is that jaehyun is now willing to give him a chance, maybe a bit too late.

 

finding mark isn’t a hard task at all.

at first jaehyun thinks talking to him after class, but johnny doesn’t seem to be conveniently going down with a cold any time soon, and on a scale of one to ten of being stoked about having witnesses of his humiliation, jaehyun is below zero. _especially_ if that witness is johnny, because jaehyun is yet to apologize for putting him in several uncomfortable positions.

then jaehyun takes into consideration fishing mark out during class break in the hallways, but frankly jaehyun has no idea about his schedule, and if they do happen to cross paths on a rare occasion, jaehyun, as if spellbound, keeps his head down like a puppy about to get scolded by its owner.

another week passes, and by the end of sunday jaehyun is so tired of himself for thinking about mark way too much that he almost texts johnny for his phone number. he doesn’t only because he manages to distract himself by a video sicheng sends him at the same time he reaches for his phone, and if jaehyun is a bit more affectionate with him than usual after that in a weird way of expressing gratitude without actually saying thanks, no one has to know why.

 

what happens is this — jaehyun is out doing some early shopping for christmas, because coursework usually piles up ahead winter break and jaehyun doesn’t get much free time before the holidays. the mall is relatively empty early on a tuesday afternoon, and jaehyun manages to successfully find a couple decent but not too pricey presents for taeyong and jungwoo, as well as new sheets for his bedroom. he’s mostly entertaining himself before a stressful evening seminar he needs to track all the way back to the campus soon, and all is good until he sees a familiar face behind the shop window of a clothes store.

jaehyun almost reflexively ducks to hide behind the display before he’s spotted, but mark is turning his back to him, oblivious.

jaehyun is both relieved and conflicted to see him, as he suddenly realizes that he never bothered to come up with at least a loose plan of the conversation he’s about to have. there’s no point in coming up with excuses to defend himself for not having common sense, so jaehyun calls himself a dumbass a couple times inside his head as a reprimand.

hell, he doesn’t even know how he’s going to approach mark. jaehyun steps foot inside the store fully prepared to embarrass himself. the only consolation is that even if things go haywire, nothing will change in his day-to-day life. it’s true that he will spend the rest of his existence as jung jaehyun regretting betraying his principles yet again after promising himself he won’t, and thus ending up enemies with someone possibly innocent, but that’s a thought for lying awake at night unable to sleep, not three in the afternoon.

mark takes a while to notice him, but when he does look up and meet eyes with jaehyun, a mix of discomfort and vague fear puts a grimace on his face. it’s rather awkward for jaehyun to approach him like that, especially with mark having stored several pieces of clothing under his armpit and holding up one another, shopping peacefully, but he’s too close to back off. judging by mark’s reaction, he’s aware jaehyun is approaching him specifically and not simply walking by, too.

“mark,” jaehyun says when he’s close enough to talk quietly, but nowhere near mark’s personal space.

“jaehyun-sshi,” mark responds as polite as ever, and hangs the t-shirt he’s holding up back where it was, expectant.

jaehyun breaks eye contact, fiddling with a hoodie on the display next to him nervously. “can we talk?”

mark stares at him. “why would you want to talk to me?

“i want to,” he shyly looks up to mark’s face from under his brows, suddenly feeling at least five years younger than he actually is, “clear things up between us, possibly apologize. for things i said and assumed.”

mark looks affronted, then confused. the quick change of expression is sort of funny because of how expressive mark’s face is, but jaehyun can’t muster up the courage to giggle at it.

“apologize?” mark says, meeting jaehyun’s eyes. he appears to be considering it, and jaehyun picks up his chin a bit to look at him properly. mark points his thumb behind himself, “could you wait outside while i pay?”

jaehyun’s tongue-tied for a second, surprised by how easily he’s agreeing.

“uh, yeah. sure?” he says clumsily. “i can wait, yeah. outside.”

“alri-iight,” mark side-eyes him, turning away in the general direction of the checkout. “be right back, i guess.”

 

jaehyun doesn’t stray too far away from the store, finding a vacant bench on the opposite side of the walkway where mark could easily spot him once he exists. the long line at the cashier visible from outside gives him some time to finally come up with what he wants to say. once mark is making his way over, a newly acquired bag in his hand, jaehyun is fully prepared.

mark stops just shy of two meters in front of him and jaehyun hurries to get up and grab his own shopping bags.

“uh,” he starts, keeping eye contact to let mark know he’s being sincere. “thank you for giving me a chance. i wanted to ask something first.”

mark shrugs, a frown on his face. “shoot.”

“it’s a weird question, i suppose,” jaehyun says, earning himself a doubtful look. “but, uh. johnny hyung and, uh, jungwoo — you know him, right?”

mark nods.

jaehyun breathes out, taking a step closer. god, mall is such a shitty place to be having this conversation. “right. so, they told me you laugh a lot. like, at a lot of things even if they’re not really funny. is that true?”

mark crosses his arms on his chest and squints at jaehyun. jaehyun, too, realizes just how bad it came out. “are you making fun of me?”

“no, sorry,” he shakes his head vehemently. “let me try again. you’re not a homophobe, right?”

mark looks even more weirded out. “what? no? i’m literally gay.”

record scratch. jaehyun stares.

“what.”

“what, _what?_ dude,” mark sighs, “just get to the point.”

“wait, wait, wait, no,” jaehyun puts a hand up to stop him. “you’re gay? you mean that?”

“the fuck do you mean _i mean that?”_ mark recoils, now seemingly angry. jaehyun doesn’t get a moment to think about how well this isn’t going.

“so you’re gay, but laughed at that joke?” he questions, something just not clicking in his brain.

“what joke?”

“the latte joke.”

there’s a hint of recognition in mark’s eyes, but it doesn’t chase away his frown. “you’re still thinking about that?” and, suddenly, he looks at jaehyun with eyes so wide he resembles a silly cartoon character. “is that what this is all about? oh my _god.”_

jaehyun’s cheeks dare to color in pretty pink against his will. “yeah? i’m sorry for thinking you were a homophobe because you laughed at a homophobic joke, i guess?”

mark lets out a short laugh, and jaehyun stares at his dumb seagull eyebrows as they turn into half circles.

“dude,” mark says, as if it’s supposed to insinuate anything, and promptly doubles over in laughter.

it’s at that moment jaehyun for the first time in his life has an episode where he doubts he’s not actually dreaming, and has to pinch the skin on his arm to ensure that he really, really isn’t.

“ow,” he says, rubbing the reddening patch of skin on his forearm, but mark is too busy laughing to pay him any mind.

“god,” he wheezes, rubbing at his forehead as he rounds jaehyun and plops down on the bench behind him.

jaehyun follows, putting some comfortable distance between his butt and mark’s.

“i’m sorry, i’m just – ” mark tries through giggles, “it was such a shitty joke. that’s why i laughed. like, is it not funny? that he thought about it and was like, wow, i need to say that. that’ll teach them dirty gays.”

jaehyun stares at mark as he starts laughing again, eyes squeezed shut in pure joy and mouth open so wide his face gets all ugly. it’s slightly jarring to think how awfully jaehyun misjudged him. embarrassing, at that, now that mark has cleared it up. it never crossed jaehyun’s mind to look at the situation from another point of view. a snort escapes him before jaehyun can prevent it.

“you done?” ashamed, he grunts when mark quiets down, shoulders still shaking with the aftermath giggles. “i’m sorry for assuming.”

mark looks over at him, head tilted and an amused smile adorning his face, bottom lip under his teeth. they’re cute teeth? it’s cute. “you know i actually wanted to ask you out before i realized you disliked me?”

the metaphysical wall inside jaehyun crumbles down suddenly, sending him into a whirlpool of emotions. he stares at mark hoping to find the lie, but the way mark stares back tells jaehyun that there isn’t one.

at this point, jaehyun is sure his stupid face has completely changed its color to pink. he looks away quickly, back straightening in a futile attempt to appear unaffected. what an awful moment to remember he found mark cute at first.

“you don’t say?” jaehyun replies, weak. he clears his throat, glancing over at mark whose own conscience seems to have taken it back at him.

mark’s hands are fiddling nervously with the shopping bag — jaehyun, acutely aware of the way mark is mirroring him, stops playing with his own ones.

“yeah,” mark replies, the volume of his voice a couple notches lower. he attempts a quick glance at jaehyun. “you flirted with me.”

jaehyun snorts, looking down at his own hands. “blaming me for finding a boy cute. you sure you’re not a homophobe?”

mark promptly jumps on his seat, shocked and offended. “what! no!”

it’s hard not to laugh at his expression, so jaehyun does, watching mark with a grin as he realizes it was a joke.

“shut up,” mark tells him, grumpy.

jaehyun feels an odd urge to put a hand around mark’s neck to lovingly squeeze his nape. instead, he glances to the stairs up to the food court, getting an idea.

“want to grab something to eat?” he asks mark, getting to his feet and fixing the sleeves of his jacket down from where he bunched them up earlier out of nervousness.

mark looks up to him from the bench, mildly surprised. “like, a date?”

jaehyun giggles. “first, as an apology,” he answers coyly, swaying his bags. “then we’ll see.”

mark is silent for a moment, just looking into jaehyun’s eyes. when he gets up, there’s a shy smile on his face.

“does this mean i can call you hyung?”

jaehyun cackles, putting an arm around mark’s shoulders to turn him in the right direction before his shyness gets the better of him.

 

 

surprisingly, it’s not jungwoo who jaehyun learns not to pointlessly speculate from — it’s johnny and mark, by making it their personal goal in life to regularly remind jaehyun about his stupid mistake until death tears them apart. at least mark makes a good boyfriend, johnny is just awful.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/btsexhaver) and send a markjae/markhei/yukren/any combo of markrenmin prompt to my [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/buttholer)


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